Life in Beta

2012 has a lot in store for me; I’m turning 30, launching a new business, getting married and becoming a step-mother. It is all exciting and a little overwhelming. I feel like 2011 was a year filled with growth and change, during which I really re-prioritized a lot of things in my life.

I’ve spent some time thinking about how my life has changed in the last year, and building on these things, I’ve set three main goals for the upcoming year:

(1) Do not create or perpetuate negativity; Put GOOD vibes out into the universe.

I really believe in going out of your way to engage with strangers on a daily basis, and I want to make a deliberate effort to do MORE of that. (This coming from someone who’s suffered with major social anxiety in the past! — I know, right!?) Minimally, I try to have a smile for everyone I pass by. I try to hold doors or pick up dropped items, or provide whatever other assistance I can give. I’ve been doing a lot of this lately, and I guess because it’s the Christmas season people are more receptive to it; but I want to make sure it doesn’t end come January.

A few weeks ago, Mike and I were out to dinne. I pointed out a girl at the salad bar and commented to Mike about her beautiful hair. It was platinum blonde and styled in long dreadlocks that hung almost to the backs of her knees. Mike said to me, “Why don’t you tell HER that? She probably gets weird looks and criticism all the time, being that dreadlocks aren’t exactly the norm — might be nice to hear a compliment.” So I did. I got up and approached her at the salad bar and told her I thought her hair was super amazing and asked her about how she styles it. Maybe she thought I was crazy — but ya know, what does it hurt to give genuine compliments freely? Not a thing. Worst case, the stranger brushes you off and moves on, but quite possibly you could have made their whole day better by simply saying you liked their outfit or sense of style.

Further, I’ve recently observed that even as an adult, bullying takes place. You’d think that as grownups, we’d be past school yard name-calling, but it still goes on in different forms. As a matter of fact, have you ever noticed that quite often humans seem to bond with each other by ganging up on a third person?! I’ve decided that though I can’t stop what other people say or do, I CAN choose to not participate in the behavior and perpetuate the problem.

I think in general, there are a lot of lonely, unhappy people in the world and if everyone could be just a little kinder, maybe it would ease their pain.

(2) Don’t assume I KNOW; Step back and LEARN.

I got myself a copy of Creative, Inc. as a little splurge the other day and started reading it. It came highly recommended and it’s a beautiful book. I started the first chapter and found myself skimming through “Traits of Successful Freelancers” and jumping ahead, thinking to myself, I know this stuff — let’s get to the stuff I don’t know.

I made myself put the book down to return to it later when I could focus more and read it all, because I realized that I don’t know it all. (Not even remotely!) Just because I feel confident in my field of work, I’m always learning and growing. The minute I STOP learning is when I’ll fail. I need to step back and remember that it’s OK to review things that I “know” because a fresh perspective is always valuable. (And let’s be honest — I probably “know” about half of what I think I know.)

(3) Surround myself with loveliness and appreciate the beauty of life EVERYDAY.

One of the most amazing things Mike has taught me during our relationship is to look for the beauty in everything. For him, the focus is usually music or art, but once that sensibility is awakened, it applies to so much more.

Why drink coffee out of a paper Starbucks cup when you could enjoy it in a vintage teacup? Why keep that “cluttery” collection packed away in boxes when it could be displayed on a book shelf and enjoyed every day? Beauty doesn’t have to be expensive either: it can be thrifted or created for very little money and some investment of time.

Life is to short for every aspect to be only FUNCTIONAL. One luxury of being human is that we can also make our daily lives BEAUTIFUL. We can surround ourselves with the things that appeal to our senses so that every experience is heightened. In 2012, instead of consuming the functional, I want to savor the beautiful every minute of every day.