Life in Beta

I’m having a particularly melancholy day today. Though my last day at work isn’t until tomorrow, I cleaned out my desk today; almost three and a half years fit into two boxes. I’m an emotional sap, but it got to me. There are parts of me questioning that moving home is the right decision, but I have to go with my gut instinct. Maybe in a few years, I’ll return. (And the girls say I have to come back at least every three months to keep up my hair appointments with Benjamin…)

I guess I’m in need of a reminder of all the little things I love about home and all the little things I’m going to get to enjoy again. Just a few –

(1) Summers on Presque Isle. I think when you live in Erie your whole life, you don’t appreciate the beauty of Lake Erie or the peninsula. Leave for a few years and come back, and you’ll find yourself drawn there. I can’t wait to spend summers driving around the peninsula with the t-tops off the Z, then stop for a walk on the beach. Oh! And I must make a point of getting a fishing license for this summer!

(2) Enjoying the local wineries and Wine Fest. Northeast, PA has some amazing wineries and is particularly known for Concord grapes. It’s also home to Welch’s – as in, the grape juice and jelly company. Wine Fest, held every autumn, is the best way to sample all the local wineries all in one place. There’s also lots of great music and fun craft vendors.

(3) Getting to hang out with this guy. —>
He’s pretty darn cute and Gracie-dog seems to like him pretty well. Thinking I’ll keep him around for a while. (Ha ha.)

(4) Going to homecoming football games at my old high school. Everyone comes home for homecoming, but I haven’t been able to in quite a few years. Our high school football team rocked, and I was a varsity football cheerleader, so I guess I’m a die-hard fan. (I have a secret wish that if I ever have son(s) that they’ll play football at GM, or if I have girl(s), that they’ll be cheerleaders too.)

(5) Having an aquarium again. I know, very random. My mother has a 55-gallon fish tank with a nice oak stand just sitting in the basement because I asked her to hang onto it for me. I have grand plans for said tank, once I get settled into my new place.

(6) Photo adventures with my favorite partner in crime, Erica. When Erica still lived in Tennessee, we’d occasionally go on photo adventures (examples: one, two, three, four, five) — just load up the camera equipment and drive aimlessly until we found something interesting to take pictures of. Erica and her husband Alan moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania a few months back, so she’ll only be a couple hours away and has family in Erie, so you know we’ll be meeting up to recommence our excursions.

(7) Autumn in Pennsylvania — beautiful leaves, county fairs, pumpkin patches and corn mazes. There’s just nothing like fall back home. Crisp and cool and bursting with color.

(8) Fishing! I’ve lived on a peninsula for the last year here, but haven’t once gone fishing because I had no one to go with me. I’ve got plenty of friends and family eager to take me out back home. (I also may or may not have agreed to learn to hunt… but I have yet to decide whether I’ll stick to my word on that. Can’t quite feature myself stomping around in the woods wearing safety-orange…)

(9) Cool summer evenings. There’s nothing like a cool spring or summer evening on the lake. I’m looking forward to spending lots of summer nights at Kimberlee’s place, Rum Runner’s Cove, right on the water … sipping Rum Runners, of course. Who wants to join me?

(10) Most importantly, family. My entire family is back home. One of my biggest fears over the last couple of years was that I wouldn’t make it home to spend time with my grandmother. She’s suffering from emphysema and of course it is a disease that just gets worse, not better. I want to be able to treasure every moment I can with her. Of course there’s also my mom and dad, grandfather, and extended family that I want to make a point of getting closer with again. We’ve all gotten so distant in the last several years, and right now I feel like I need to draw them closer than ever. No time like the present to change things.

Remember the part at the end of The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy has to say goodbye to the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion, and the Scarecrow?

Dorothy: [to Scarecrow] I think I’m going to miss you most of all.

That’s how I feel right now, saying goodbye to dear friends. Unfortunately for me, those same friends won’t magically reappear when I wake up from this dream and return to Kansas.

My version of Scarecrow is probably one of the smartest people I know so he’d have never had to seek out the Wizard for brains. But like Dorothy, I think I’ll miss him most of all.

I’m not good with goodbyes.

Thanks for being my mentor, for always believing in me, and for making me believe in myself.
(You know who you are.)

This is going to be a difficult last few weeks…

If you happen to follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably noticed me whining for the last two weeks about being sick with a sinus infection that I just couldn’t shake. (Actually, if you didn’t unfollow me as a result of that whining, I’d be surprised — thank you!) I’ve been walking around with a purse that looks like a Walgreens: cough drops, Mucinex, antibiotics, Dayquil, and Advil for the pounding sinus headache.

I was desperate. So I finally gave in to what so many of my friends swear by: I bought a neti pot.

Don’t know what a neti pot is? Observe:

For the longest time I couldn’t get past the idea that you’re pouring water UP YOUR NOSE!! I mean, haven’t you ever gone swimming and gotten water up your nose? It’s horrible! Plus it just didn’t seem possible to do that and not drown yourself, right? And there’s always the fact that it’s just a little disgusting.

I used to swear up and down I could never have an I.V. put into my hand either, but when I had kidney stones and they offered me an I.V. of demerol, you can bet I took it quite gladly! Same with this situation — my sinuses had been so severely packed for two weeks that I’d have put firecrackers up my nose to bust the congestion loose if someone told me it would help.

Thankfully a neti pot is much less drastic than firecrackers.

First off, it doesn’t hurt at all. I can’t even say that it’s uncomfortable. It’s a bit strange, but not bothersome. The trick, I’ve found, is to make sure to keep your mouth open and continue breathing through your nose the entire time. If you stop breathing, you get some of the saline solution down the back of your throat (post nasal drip like). Even that isn’t so bad; just spit it out.

The first time I did it, the gunk that came out of my left nostril (the infected side) was absolutely disgusting. But, um, better out than in, right? After it was out, though, I felt the most relief I’d had in two weeks. My sinus headache let up and I could actually breathe!

I purchased the SinuCleanse brand neti pot at Walgreens for about $14.99. There are several brands available ranging in price from about $10-15. The kit I got comes with directions, the neti pot, a little spoon to mix the saline solution, and 30 saline solution packets.

So, you can all say I told you so now. You win. I’m a convert.

Though this is far from being a typical love song, for me the lyrics convey an ultimate expression of love between soulmates. It’s one of my favorite songs, and has such a special meaning in my heart.

The song was made famous by Death Cab for Cutie, but this particular cover is the best I’ve heard and I prefer it to the original. The video makes me cry…

What’s your favorite song, and what special meaning does it hold for you?